Eating...

I'm two and a half months out and I've been facing quite an odd psychological battle.

Feeling full.

Let's face it, if I felt full when I would eat before the surgery I would not be in the position I am in today. For the past few years I could eat a lot of food in one sitting and not feel full. And if by some miracle I actually would feel full I would feel guilty because the realization of how much I just ate would set in. Through classical conditioning the feeling full eventually led to feelings of guilt.

Over the past two months things have changed so fast that my brain is still trying to catch up with my physical changes. And now when I eat half a cup of food and feel full I first feel guilty and then I realize I just ate half a cup of food and I'm feeling full for a very different reason now. However, in some corner of my mind I still feel guilty.

I have done much better in learning my limit of food intake. My big helper has been Weight Watchers Smart Ones and Stouffer's Lean Cuisine. Their portions are perfect for me. I can spread them out over two meals and they are quite tasty. I am also not too worried about the sodium content because they are my only real source of sodium throughout the day. I have also slacked off on the protein shakes and have started trying to get all of my protein through meals.

Considering my new stomach can only hold 3-4oz of food I am forced to make every meal count and not eat crap. I try to make smart choices by eating high protein foods or fruits and vegetables.

Socially, I am still having a difficult time adjusting to my new stomach. So much of my social life revolves around food. I really have to work on slowing my eating down. That way I can pace myself with everyone else. The other thing I have decided is that when I go out to a restaurant I will share an entree with whomever I'm with. This really takes the pressure of eating off.

All in all, I'm slowly working on things and each week is better than the last.